What if you bumped into that guy in your dorm, but you hesitated and missed your chance? Find out the best strategies to turn your crush into a confession.
When I was a freshman living in a dorm, there was a guy I was interested in at the gym. At 6:30 in the morning, I’d see him working out, even earlier than me. He was a clean-cut guy who didn’t seem to talk much. I wanted to get to know him, so I tried to talk to him, but it was so early in the morning that I didn’t feel brave enough to say good morning, even when it was just the two of us in the gym. It was a routine of waking up early in the morning to go to the gym and work out, just to see him. Since we both lived in the dormitory, we often ran into each other on the way back and forth, but outside of the gym, of course, I was even less brave. Then I took a leave of absence, and that was the end of my dorm life.
When I moved out of the dorm, the first thing I did was find a place to live. I didn’t move until I entered university and moved up to Seoul. The apartment my family lived in was my father’s only real estate, and my entire 20 years of life had been spent there. It was not easy for me to find a place to live. Finding a place to live was a challenge, especially since I was an architecture student with my eyes set high.
As I searched for a place to live, I realized that finding a room is like finding a person. Just as no two people are alike, no two rooms are alike. Rooms in the same building may be somewhat similar, but even if they’re on the same floor, they’ll be in different locations, smell different, and have slightly different layouts. And while there are tons of rooms out there, just because you like a room doesn’t mean you can live in it. It’s common to find a room that has a goalie, but is empty.
Since I’ve never been on the hunt for a new place to live, I searched the internet for things to look out for when viewing rooms. There were a lot of things I hadn’t thought of, but I didn’t have a large enough down payment to cover them all, so I decided on a few criteria that were important to me. Low maintenance fees, a convenient location to catch the shuttle bus, and sunshine were important to me.
After looking at a few dorms, I found an empty room in a building with a low maintenance fee and close to a shuttle bus stop, but my friend who was traveling with me to help me said that the room was too small and that I should do a little more research. I’d kind of given up on finding a room I liked because the ones I’d seen so far had been so bad, and I was nervous that I’d have to go around again if someone else rented the room while I was thinking about it.
When you’re not sure, but you’re kind of okay with it, you start to think about it. The more time you spend looking, the more likely you are to find a better place, but if another contractor comes along and snatches it up while you’re thinking about it, you could end up living in a place that’s even worse. When it comes to meeting people, time is also a dwindling asset, and deciding whether or not to meet someone becomes a less straightforward matter. Usually, you want to meet someone to spend the rest of your life with, and while you’re dating someone who might not end up being that person, time is passing. And while you’re meeting the wrong person, your precious connection could be with someone else. So whether it’s a room or a person, the choice becomes difficult.
I didn’t want to feel nervous, and I didn’t want to go around looking for more dorms, so I went to sign the next day. I was told that a two-year contract was standard. I knew I had two years to graduate from school, so I didn’t worry about it. Unlike dormitory life, living on my own without a roommate was comfortable and nice, but living in a small room was too stuffy. The management fee was cheap, but the utility bills that the owner calculated were not very reasonable. I wanted to move out, but the contract was for two years, and it was not easy to find someone to move in midway. I had to continue living in the room.
Then, last summer vacation, while waiting for the bus to enter Seoul National University, I saw the man I hadn’t seen in three years, and I decided that since this coincidence of taking the same bus out of many buses in a few years, I would be brave and try to make a connection between him and me. I stared at the man sitting not far away for a long time, and when he got off the bus, I decided to follow him and try to talk to him. However, since I got on the bus right after lunch, I hadn’t brushed my teeth and was sweating profusely from running around, so I thought that my first impression on him would not be good, so I got off at my original destination.
After hearing my story of missed opportunities, my friend suggested I try the dorm gym again or look him up in the yearbook. These were all impractical suggestions, and I decided to trust that if the stars aligned, I would find him again. To my surprise, a few months later, I went to the salon and saw him getting his hair cut by a stylist I knew. After he left, I asked the stylist about him. The stylist didn’t know anything about the man, but she searched his profile and gave me his name and contact information.
Having the name and contact information didn’t change the situation much – I had no choice but to call him. I wanted to do something more sophisticated, but I couldn’t think of anything else. In the evening, two days after I got the contact information, I finally called the man. And I found out that he was currently seeing someone else. That was the end of my longtime crush. I wonder what would have happened if I had said good morning to him in the dorm gym three years ago? At least I wouldn’t have completely lost the chance to get close to him.
There’s timing involved in signing a lease and getting out of a lease. I didn’t find anyone to move in with, so I’m still living in the room I signed for at the time, a little unsatisfied, but doing okay. I only have four more months left on my contract. My experience of looking for and living in student housing will help me when looking for a new place, but finding a good place is not something you can do on your own. You never know when you go to a real estate listing whether a great room will be vacant and for sale, or whether a room you think is great will turn out to be a disaster. It’s not easy to find a place to live because you don’t know if you’ll be there for a day or two. In any case, I have to find a new place before my contract ends.
