This blog post explores how paternal love, defying the logic of natural selection and genes, evolved through human memes and culture.
For humans and most mammals, maternal love has been the most crucial force for species reproduction. With the development of placental reproduction, mammals are protected within the mother’s body until birth. Because they grow to a certain size inside the mother’s womb, mammals cannot produce many offspring at once. To leave more genes behind, they developed maternal love, tenderly caring for their young. This evolved through natural selection and is an undeniable fact. Research has shown that the gene responsible for maternal instinct is located on the X chromosome, meaning all females possess this gene. Conversely, paternal instinct was not selected for by natural selection. Nevertheless, in human society, paternal love has become established as a virtue that should naturally exist, and it is under a father’s warm love that we are able to grow. This article argues that such paternal love is culturally formed through memes.
First, let’s examine examples of animals exhibiting strong paternal love. Representative examples include the paternal love of seahorses and emperor penguins. In the case of sea dragons, the male possesses a brood pouch where the female lays her eggs. The male then protects and cares for the eggs within the pouch alone until they hatch. Similarly, after the female emperor penguin lays her egg, the male endures the cold without eating for approximately 65 days while guarding the egg. The reason these animals developed paternal care is a result of natural selection. Female sea dragons become exhausted after laying eggs and cannot move for a day, while female emperor penguins, after laying eggs, lack the strength to endure 65 days of cold. Thus, paternal care for species preservation differs from human paternal care, which forms an emotional bond with offspring. So what role did paternal love play in human evolution?
From a gene’s perspective, paternal love is a highly detrimental factor. For humans who care for their offspring until maturity, paternal love can be fatal to genes. While paternal love increases a child’s chances of survival, it sacrifices opportunities to spread the genes. From the gene’s perspective, spreading is the top priority, so paternal love is considered a major loss. Moreover, since many countries have created environments where mothers can raise children alone, paternal love is even more detrimental from the gene’s viewpoint. For these reasons, the fact that paternal love, which contradicts gene theory, has grown over time suggests it did not evolve through natural selection.
Given that paternal love offers no benefit from a gene-centric viewpoint, the question arises: ‘Then where did human paternal love originate?’ I believe the answer lies in the fact that humans are not mere robots driven by genes, but higher life forms possessing thought and reason. Unlike the ‘gene machines’ Richard Dawkins proposed, humans possess the capacity to shape their lives through acquired experiences.
Humans are the only creatures among animals capable of creating memes through reason and thought. For example, Psy’s “Gangnam Style” is a meme created by singer Psy and dancers, while songs by Super Junior and Twice also function as memes, forming a new culture known as the Korean Wave. This new culture is expressed through Korean music and dance in concert halls, clubs, cafes, and venues worldwide. In this way, culture is formed through the interaction of memes, and humans receive non-genetic influences from this culture. This can be seen as an acquired change, and paternal love is one such example. Humans exposed to social norms, values, and civilization experience acquired changes like paternal love. The current culture of marital morality and parental obligations has formed, and fathers exposed to this have developed paternal love.
In 2014, an incident shocked Korea. A father addicted to gaming murdered his infant son because the baby kept crying. As this case shows, this father lacked paternal love. He was addicted to games, disconnected from society, and unable to be influenced by memes, preventing acquired paternal love from taking root. Looking at domestic violence statistics in Korea, 77% of cases are perpetrated by fathers, while 16% are by mothers. This 4.8-fold difference suggests that while maternal love is an irresistible love evolved through natural selection, paternal love is selective. Notably, fathers lacking paternal love often have social issues or mental health conditions. This demonstrates that disconnection from culture can lead to an absence of paternal love, revealing it as an acquired change in humans exposed to culture.
Humans sometimes make choices unrelated to survival instincts. These are influenced by memes, with economic circumstances having a particularly significant impact. A prime example is the process of determining the number of children. In Korea, the average cost of raising one child to independence reaches 200 million won, so humans rationally choose the number of children based on economic conditions. Thus, humans are not bound by genes; they can pioneer new lives based on the memes they encounter and their judgments. From the gene’s perspective, human thought and reason are a kind of virus. While this virus cannot shake the vast framework created by genes, such judgments enhance the value of life. The ability to experience paternal love is a blessing, distinct from other animals, enabling the creation of harmonious families. Paternal love can be considered true love, stemming not from genes but from the father’s rational judgment and thought.
